Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Learn to live, learn to let go & follow nature rule
I have always wondered at the almost robotic way we function. what’s the reason to continue a relationship or a venture when there is no emotion or heart in it? I see no reason to go on, if there is no emotion. One has to realise when to move on, when to let go. It’s best to live life as an honest free spirit and challenge those who infringe upon your joy. The conundrum of modern-day life has robbed us of compassion. We have been drained of love and humility. It’s good to remember that life is so easily destroyed, if we are not careful.
Dissatisfaction, sadness, hatred – these are the mind’s creations. You don’t need to serve your connection with the world, if you feel let down. To tackle that, it’s essential that you lead a normal life while trying to find out the root cause of dissatisfied mind. This approach is both realistic and practical and guarantees an answer to most of your deep-seated problems.
Being happy depends not so much on external circumstances as on your inner life. This means all your thoughts, perceptions, beliefs, emotions, desires, dreams – your entire mental and emotional scene. Happiness is about how you react inwardly to events, what you think and believe, how you feel, how problems affect you. It may sound obvious, but like many obvious things it’s something that is often forgotten when it matters most. We focus almost exclusively on or external lives, on getting and spending and having fun and then wonder why we are not happy. But it’s when our inner lives are tranquil that we are most happiest and we call this inner peace.
You can’t completely avoid problems, but you can change how you react to them by acquiring new habits that provoke peaceful inner responses. Training your inner life into different habits require learning skills of thinking, feeling and managing your beliefs and desires. These are very like the virtues many religions and philosophies advocate but if u think of them as skill rather than virtues, you benefit from an important and liberating shift. Instead of ‘ I must become a better person’ you can think ‘I would lie more happily if I work on my skills’. So the change in attitude becomes a choice, not a duty. This process is not something u can do overnight, it’s a whole new way of life but the reward is what we all want most – happiness. There are five main skills who need to cultivate.
Mindfulness:- this involves developing your ability to focus your thoughts in the present. The problem most of us have with thought is having too much of it – the working and non-stop mental chattering our minds are prone to. Mindfulness is a key in our skill because as it gets stronger, it lets you focus on your inner life and catch your habits in the act. Once you can see how u r rolled by them, the change u r seeking often happens of it’s own accord.
Compassion:- most religions rightly stress compassion. As well as being a virtue in its own right it is a practical skill that counter act negative emotions like anger and hatred, which are terrible wreckers of happiness. Tried the next time someone annoys you; put yourself what they might be thinking or feeling to behave like that. Even bad people, let alone people who just mildly annoy you, often have a mistaken view of the world which makes them do what they do.
Story skills:- these are very useful for problems with your inner belie system, as they let you stand back and explore alternative versions of reality. Believes have great power over your life because belief is something your take as fact. Start to think of your believes as stories and it is easier to accept that other things might be true as well. Even true stories only select a little bit of reality we are focusing on at the moment, no one story is the whole truth about any situation. From a different point of view we would see a different t story, sometimes a whole different world. This is not about make beliefs, its about reframing situations to look at them from a different perspective.
Letting – go techniques:- these are particularly helpful when we are unhappy not getting what we want. Generally, we are encouraged to keep wanting and to think that more will make us happier, whether its clothes or cars or even love. But wanting is a treadmill; as long as you have unsatisfied want and desires, or let go some of them. Letting-go skills also include forgiveness, which helps hugely with one of the things you think you want is revenge.
Enjoyment skills:- this last group includes skills such as patience humour and especially gratitude. You don’t have to be grateful to someone, it’s enough to cultivate gratitude or things. Our minds naturally scan the environment for dangers and resources, a useful mechanism when we were hunter-gathers. But it can make us unnecessarily pessimistic – focussing on 10% we lack rather than 90% we have cultivating enjoyment skills will help redress the balance.
Acquiring all his skills takes time and effort. The important thing is to practice them until they operate without you thinking about them. Your practice routine will be very individual because everyone needs to prioritise different skills depending on the specific issues that you are holding them back from being happy but keep the skills in mind and you will constantly find new ways to try them out.
Saturday, April 17, 2010